Help I feel SCARED!
Letting Jesus use his power through us requires us to take risks, it requires us to step out of our normal day-to-day living and into the supernatural. It requires us to get out of our comfort zone as we take steps of faith.
For me offering to pray for healing has felt terrifying. However over the months I have noticed that many of the answered prayers I have seen have been for people outside of Church. These are people God really wants to connect with. But when you’re offering to pray for someone who isn’t a Christian. It can be flipping scary can’t it? Here’s the truth and I’m sure I’m not alone in this:
- I worry that I will be rejected
- I worry that people will think I’m weird
- I’m worried that they will say yes and then nothing will happen
I even worry about writing a blog like this. For my friends that don’t know Jesus, well this blog will just confirm to them that their token Christian mate has definitely lost the plot. Then there’s the Christians, for a fair few of my Christian friends, they will think I’m just this barmy charismatic guy, who it’s probably best to avoid having a conversation with. Or maybe right now I’m just feeling somewhat vulnerable and actually people are not thinking this…
But ultimately vulnerability and stepping out is a part of faith, we are called to take risks and to put all our dependency on Jesus, the Giver of Life.
If you read my previous blog (please do as it will give you a context as to why I’ve started this blog). I shared how in February last year (2017) I attended the Naturally Supernatural conference, from this and a book I was reading at the time, ‘Do what Jesus did’, by a guy called Robby Dawkins I felt really encouraged, excited and challenged for God to use me through signs, miracles and wonders. At the Naturally Supernatural conference I was getting fed through the inspiring talks and this book, I was connecting with God through the worship, people prayed for me there and I prayed for others. I felt I received so much from this time. Then the conference finished. What now?
It’s not just about receiving
It was 10pm. I left the Soul Survivor building in Watford and started my 20 minute walk back to my car. As I was walking back, I started thanking God for that amazing time with him at the conference, but I knew I wasn’t meant to just receive and so I then started praying to God for opportunities to show his love, opportunities to pray for people, opportunities to do the stuff that Jesus did. Suddenly as I was walking along, I then saw this big sign, a sign of temptation, a sign I have given into far too often. I saw the big M sign. McDonald’s. Without Sarah to stop me I found myself walking in. I can be a weak man!
God giving me an opportunity
The McDonald’s was quiet, hardly anyone about. As I looked over at the till, there was this one girl serving. As I walked over towards her, I quickly realised that her arm was in a sling. Then I suddenly felt a rush of fear as I remembered the prayer that I had just prayed.
Now I would love to tell you, that I confidently walked up to her, offered to pray for her arm and she of course said “yes!” As I prayed tears filled up her eyes. I asked her what was happening, she told me the pain had left. I asked her to test her arm, she then whipped her sling off, started moving her arm around and around. She then looked at me and said “Jesus really does love me”. I said “yes he does and he wants a relationship with you. Would you like that?” She said with pure joy in her face. “Yes please!” She got down on her knees and gave her life to Jesus. She then told her colleagues what had happened and they too got on their knees and gave their lives to Jesus. I would really love to tell you this happened.
The real story: I walked into McDonald’s, I saw this girl with the sling. I remembered my prayer for opportunities. I suddenly felt really nervous. I walked up to the counter, but instead of offering prayer, I order some food. Priorities! This girl then went about putting my food order together with her one good arm, very slowly may I add! She then gave me the tray with food. I looked around to check there was no one in ears’ reach, I should have offered to pray. But instead I made a comment which I’m sure she’d heard all day, “it must be difficult to do all this work with one arm” (face palm). She agreed it was.There was then this awkward silence between us, before I thanked her and took my food to the table.
As I ate the food, I kept thinking I should offer to pray, but then a group of people walked in, my fear levels increased. Eventually I finished my food and saw that the girl was no longer at the till and I felt gutted the opportunity had gone. As I walked out of the McDonald’s though, I saw her outside with her colleague smoking a cigarette. I thought come on Nick just offer to pray.
The Inner Battle
However rather than offering to pray I found myself walking in the opposite direction towards my car. I found I was having this inner battle. I felt my brain saying:
- It’s late
- You have got a long drive
- Just go home and relax
- Don’t risk looking like a fool
- God wouldn’t heal someone through you
But then my heart was saying go back. I felt God saying to me, I have given you this opportunity, are you going to listen to me? So I found myself walking up to the girl and her colleague. Now, in hindsight I probably didn’t give the best introduction. As I nervously said to her, “excuse me, I know this might sound really strange, but I’m a Christian and I believe that God heals. I see that your arm is in a sling and was wondering if I can pray for God to heal your arm?”
They both looked at me, there was a pause which felt like eternity…
Find out what happens next by checking out ‘Stepping out of my comfort zone PART 2′ being shared next week.